Living Aloha

When my husband received orders to Hawai’i in November of 2017 I cried. Not happy tears I might add. We knew he was up for orders and it was between California and Hawai’i. You may be thinking I am crazy because who wouldn’t want to go to Hawai’i first of all and secondly if you know me, Hawai’i changed my life. To put it into perspective, I had moved to North Carolina only four months prior to this news and had our second child two months after the move. Everything felt like it was new, new, new and all at once. Essentially a crash course into military spouse life.

Having just moved from everything I knew for the previous twenty six years to a new state, new lifestyle, new baby, and now a move across the Pacific I was overwhelmed to say the least. But that did not stop anything because in May 2018 our house was packed into wooden crates and on their way to our new home. We spent a month of leave in Florida visiting our families before moving nearly five thousand miles away. Sadly that was the last time we would see certain family members and we did not even know it.

June 23, 2018 my family and I boarded a plane in Atlanta, GA straight to Honolulu , HI. The island greenery, ocean views, and plumerias were a welcoming view after a ten hour plane ride. The taxi trip from Honolulu to Marine Corps Base Hawai’i took about thirty minutes and one hundred dollars which was our first realization at just how expensive life here would be. We moved into our home the following week and within a month and a half we had our car back and household items. Our daughter started kindergarten and things were slowly seeming normal.

I immediately began baking and volunteering with the new unit my husband was attached to. Through this, I made friends with some of the most amazing spouses. We all took turns supporting each other when our husbands were gone and celebrated with them when their husbands returned even if it meant ours was leaving next.

Without going into insane or lengthy personal details, I can honestly say living in Hawai’i changed me. When I stepped off of that plane in June 2018, I was scared. I was not sure if I would make friends, like the area, what would I do when my husband was gone for months at a time for trainings or deployments, etc. But the reality is, the things I was scared of happening still happened. I was alone with the kids more than I would like to admit, I had no family around to visit or help with the kids, I was trying to find out who I was and how did I fit into this lifestyle we were in, finish school, have another child, navigate our sons autism diagnosis and therapies solo, family members passing and grieving from thousands of miles away, and a global pandemic. Living in Hawai’i broke me, but it rebuilt me. I learned how strong I truly am and learned I am capable of far more than I have ever given myself credit for. When I say this place is special to me, I promise it is not an exaggeration and words truly fail me on describing it accurately.

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Driving on the H3 became one of my favorite things to do living on O’ahu. The jagged mountains, lush greenery, and during th rainy season all of the waterfalls left me awestruck no matter how many times I passed them. And the views!! Driving from west side to east side on the H3 or the Pali was breathtaking. As soon as you came out of the tunnels you can see for miles due to the elevation. All of the shades of blue in the bay and ocean were simply incredible. I remember seeing those views and every time I would try to take in as much detail as possible because I knew one day I would miss the heck out of those things. We have been off island over a year now and I miss those views more and more each day.

Aside from the obviously gorgeous scenery, I fell in love with the language and culture. Not at face value either. I truly immersed myself into learning the history of the islands, the culture, and language as best as I could. I still practice the language and am learning because I am determined to return to the islands one day and give back to the place that changed my life. Also, I highly encourage you to learn about the Kingdom of Hawai’i and how it became a state. If you need links or have questions, I am more than happy to delve into that with you.

Anyways, I made the most of my time while living in paradise but the pandemic stole a year and a half or so from us. We were locked down so harshly that we could not even walk in our neighborhood , sit on the beach, or hike. It was an incredibly isolating time, but once restrictions were lifted the kids and I began checking off bucket list items. We rode the train on the west side up to Ko ‘Olina and had ice cream, went to the museums, went to as many beaches as we could, and hiked kid friendly trails just to name a few. When my husband was home, my friends and I would do more advanced hikes and snorkeling. Being under the water in the silence of the ocean were some of the most peaceful moments I have ever had.

The people were also just so kind. I tell people here in Florida all the time the culture shock we had when we moved back to the mainland. Aloha is a verb and the people in Hawai’i truly live it. I have witnessed incredible community and care in my time there as well as after our move as I still have many military and local friends there. Here on the mainland it is everyone for themselves it seems and there is little to no aloha. I wish we could change that because it would be a much better place if we all helped each other and chose kindness.

I tell everyone I know that if you told the 2017 me that just received her husbands news of moving to Hawai’i that it would change my life and I would not ever want to leave I would laugh. But I would leave everything here and get on a plane right now to go back if I could.

A hui hou—until next time.

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